“You’re my Mata Hari. I wanna know your story…Up in the Himalayas, c’mon I wanna lay ya. We’ll go around the world in a day,” Ricky Martin, Shake Your Bon Bon
Asses get called stupid things everyday. But comparing a butt to a chocolate with cream filling is about the dumbest thing ever. Who doesn’t want to dance to the image of a sticky, melty ass that has been pumped full of Ricky Martin’s cream? Just swirl that dribbly thing around the room, spewing unimaginable liquids on everyone?
The Mata Hari lyric, by the way, turned out to be prophetic. Mata Hari was a famous stripper who was accused of being a double agent in World War I. See, the French thought she was a spy for France, but it turned out she was secretly a German spy the whole time! She never committed to what team she was playing for and it led to misery for all involved. Thankfully, Ricky finally revealed what team he plays for today. I am very happy for Mr. Martin and sincerely hope that he enjoys life as an out person. And I also sincerely hope that the national assault on our ears that started with Menudo and ended with La Vida Loca has come to an end. Shake whatever bon bon you want. Just stop singing out loud about it.