“She goes in and out and in and out and in and out. She’s playing all night and the music’s all right. Mama’s got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night.” – The Who, Squeeze Box
The Who are a band that is renowned for their sheer energetic performances, influential musical concepts and their terrifying ideas about what’s sexy. Sure, comparing coitus with the in and out of an accordion gets the whole pumping angle across, but what a horrific image. Accordions are played by three types of people: Insane gypsies, fat polka dudes and Weird Al Yankovic, none of which should make anyone think of anything remotely sex-related. Accordions also have the unfortunate appearance of looking like a scrote sac, one of the most un-erotic pieces of flesh available on a human body. Seriously, bend over and look at yourself from behind in a mirror tonight and wonder why anyone would ever have sex with something that has that connected to it. But if the whole idea of polka-sound-tracked, grindingly repetitive love doesn’t bother you, here’s something that might. You see, Pete Townshend wasn’t writing about nubile, young lovers monotonously pumping all night long. He’s talking about Mama and Dad. Yup. Dad’s work problems and stress? They're caused by your nympho mom who will not let him stop banging her. And it’s not great sex either. Oh, it’s “all right.” But, the old lady ain’t banging out Beethoven up in here. Congratulations, The Who. You have written a whole song about the explicit details and noises of parents having sex, which is about the least sexy thing anyone can imagine at any time ever.