“Oh, you come crash into me and I come into you. Hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me. In a boy’s dream.” – Dave Matthews Band, Crash Into Me
If you were white and went to the college in the nineties, you probably had at least one friend who wore a hemp necklace and American Eagle cargo shorts who swore Dave Matthews was the best thing ever. That friend has now porked up and is living in the suburbs, where he is working on his third kid and his fourth viewing of The Hangover, but still listening to DMB on Easy 98.5. Even going past the really inane come/cum lyric, this song is seriously gross. Is Dave Matthews calling this lady’s vagina her world? Look, I love vaginas, but in the geography of a woman, a vagina is like South America. It’s a totally awesome continent with really fun things to do and it is sometimes dangerous. But South America ain’t the whole world. Believe me, you want to also spend time in Asia and Europe. And if you’re adventurous, maybe go back to Africa. But even after this whole, let me drive my seed in you because your vagina is the whole world lyric, Dave makes it even more disgusting. In a boy’s dream? Why are you dragging little boys into this, Dave?