Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Disgusting Lyric of the Day 63: If You Seek Amy by Britney Spears

“All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy.” Britney Spears, If You Seek Amy

In case you missed all the Fox News outrage, you won’t find anything dirty by just reading these lyrics that don’t make any real sense. But if you sing/autotune/whatever-the-hell-it-is-Britney-does, it kind of sounds like, “All of the boy and all of the girls are begging to F-U-C-K me.” It’s pretty dumb, and to quote another juvenile gag, it’s also sofa king wee todd it.

Beyond that though, I am pretty sure no one is currently begging to fuck Britney anymore. Sure a few years ago, maybe some people were willing to hit that one more time. Nowadays, no matter how hot she gets, I still can’t quite erase the memory of that bald butterball smacking a car with an umbrella. Plus, after having two kids, that weird goatee’d paparazzo and a Federline up in there, I am pretty sure her vagina could be counted as a FEMA emergency zone. After seeing photos of her walking barefoot in gas stations, I am pretty sure she can’t be considered a sex object anymore. In a best case scenario, getting busy with Britney Spears would leave your dick covered in Flaming Hot Cheetos dust. Worst case, she snaps into that thing like a Slim Jim.

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