Disgusting Lyric of the Day 58: Oh, What a Night by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

“You know, I didn't even know her name, but I was never gonna be the same. What a lady. What a night. Oh, I…I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room and I, as I recall it ended much too soon.” – The Four Tops, Oh, What a Night

Welcome to the creepiest song about losing your virginity ever made. The story, as such, finds Frankie Valli seeing a woman walk in a room and getting an uncontrollable boner. He never asks her what her name is and once they have sex, he ejaculates so quickly it is an unsatisfying experience for all involved. Frankie’s right! What a fun night!

Of course, many people have bad or awkward first times. Not everyone sets them to the happiest faux-Motown music that makes it seem like your pathetic and shameful squirtings were actually an amazing life moment.

I came to hate this song when I heard it a Bar Mitzvah. There is nothing creepier than playing a happy song about losing your virginity at your first chance to a room full of horny 13 year old boys who have just been told they are now men. And by the way, in December 1963, Frankie Valli would have been 29. Which also really makes this song twice as hideous.