Disgusting Lyric of the Day 66: Laffy Taffy by D4L

“Laffy Taffy, I’m likin’ this. Big ole ass you shaking, bitch. Close yo mouth and don’t say shit. Bend on over and hit a split. Girl, shake that Laffy Taffy.” D4L, Laffy Taffy

Well, over 60 entries in to this thing and I’ve still hit a first. Awesome reader Trish sent a suggestion in for the song Laffy Taffy, which I kind of vaguely remembered being popular a few years back. I listened to the song again and it was still as awful as always. It sounds like a handicapped version of a Ying Yang Twins song, which is no small feat seeing as one of the members of the Ying Yang Twins actually has cerebral palsy.

So, I mentally prepared to write an entry about fat squishy candy butts, but I went ahead and did my usual research on the song and discovered two amazing facts. First, this song hit #1 in 2006. And second, the phrase “Laffy Taffy” in this number one song is actually slang for a stretched out labia that one may see at a broke ass strip club.

What the fuck.

This is the first time I have been too disgusted for words by a song at Disgusting Lyric of the Day. This whole song was just misogynist as hell when it was about girls shaking their asses and not talking. Now that I know it is about worn out vagina lips flopping in the breeze, it’s just kind of sad. Also, is Laffy Taffy the best way to describe that on a lady? Laffy Taffy is colorful and stretchy, but also kind of soft and flowy. What about Jacks Links Jerky? That has more of the texture that you expect to find at your shittier strip clubs.