“I'm usually passin' by just around eleven o'clock and if ya' let me cool you one time, you'll be my regular stop. I got bim bam banana pops, dixie cups all flavors and pushups, too! I'm your ice cream man, stop me when I'm passin' by. See now all my flavors are guaranteed to satisfy!” – Van Halen, Ice Cream Man
To be honest, there’s not a whole lot in the lyrics that are that filthy. I mean, yes, the idea of David Lee Roth having any kind of job that deals with kids is inherently weird, but not actually disgusting.
But when you hear ol’ Diamond Dave actually sing this thing, well, it’s clear that he’s talking about making an ice cream sandwich. By which I mean, he is talking about sex. And sadly, there may be no better current metaphor of sex with David Lee than a big olf Vanilla Sundae Waffle Cone. It may look like it is strong, but it has been baked for a while and is deceptively fragile. The toppings seem ok from a distance, but when you get close, you realize that the shredded coconut is kind of artificially brightened and actually kind of sparse. And if you don’t take care of it fast enough, you’re just gonna be left with a drippy white puddle oozing down your arm.