Ridiculous Existential Lyric of the Day 76: I Am…I Said by Neil Diamond

‘"I am," I said. To no one there. And no one heard at all, not even the chair,” Neil Diamond, I Am…I Said

So…does the chair usually hear you, Neil? Does it normally say shit back to you? Because if you’re looking for a chair to start hanging on your every thought, you might want to say something more interesting than, “I am.”

If I was a sentient chair stuck in Neil Diamond’s house, I’d probably want to kill myself. Your whole life would be a non-stop swirl of rhinestones rubbed across your face and the scent of Aqua-Net jammed up your nose. Then again, you would get to cradle Neil’s forever-in-blue jeans ass, so I guess there’s a trade off.