“Coming down the street like a parade, Macy's, I fill her up balloons.
Test her and guns get drawn like cartoons. D’oh, but I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Homer. Chick so bad the whole crew wanna bone her.” Ludacris, My Chick Bad
One important question that is often overlooked in selecting a lady friend is: Do my friends really want to bone her? Sure, having your friends and girlfriend getting along is nice, but you really want to make sure that every time you leave the room, your friends are desperate to get into her pants.
But if they don’t want to bang her right away, don’t be discouraged. Just take her to the doctor and have her breasts enlarged to cartoonish, some would say balloon-like, proportions. Really whore her up some.
This advice may not be for everyone, but Spencer Pratt swears by it, and it’s worked pretty well so far.
Showing posts with label Ludacris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ludacris. Show all posts
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
R. Kelly Fridays!!!: Rock Star
“I'm telling you now the way we fuck is going to lead to child birthing. Rocking to this guitars about to have me crowd surfing. Kells'll put on a show up until they close curtains. Then right after the show, back stage, your ass hurting.” – R. Kelly, Ludacris, Kid Rock, Rock Star
Welcome to the Holy Triumvirate of STDs, bad liquor and poor choices. R. Kelly and Kid Rock joined forces, somehow tricking Ludacris into teaming with them. I would have to imagine that there is not a ton of overlap in any of their fan bases, meaning that the ideal groupie for this concert would be a 17 year-old blonde trailer park girl with a gigantic ass who also likes a splash of pee with her groupie sex. I am not sure there is any line that is more of a turn off than “the way we fuck is going to lead to child birthing.” It’s almost like a PSA that says, “Hey, you may think you want to hump R. Kelly now, but in nine months, all you’ll have to show for it is a fatherless baby, herpes and pictures of Kid Rock putting his little Joe C. in your mouth while R. Kelly puts his evil inside you from the back.”
But at least, R. Kelly shows at least some concept of science at the beginning of this lyric. Yes, Robert, unprotected sex can lead to the birth of a child. But I have to assume you have been engaging in anal sex, since this girl’s ass hurts, and I am fairly certain you can’t have butt babies.
Welcome to the Holy Triumvirate of STDs, bad liquor and poor choices. R. Kelly and Kid Rock joined forces, somehow tricking Ludacris into teaming with them. I would have to imagine that there is not a ton of overlap in any of their fan bases, meaning that the ideal groupie for this concert would be a 17 year-old blonde trailer park girl with a gigantic ass who also likes a splash of pee with her groupie sex. I am not sure there is any line that is more of a turn off than “the way we fuck is going to lead to child birthing.” It’s almost like a PSA that says, “Hey, you may think you want to hump R. Kelly now, but in nine months, all you’ll have to show for it is a fatherless baby, herpes and pictures of Kid Rock putting his little Joe C. in your mouth while R. Kelly puts his evil inside you from the back.”
But at least, R. Kelly shows at least some concept of science at the beginning of this lyric. Yes, Robert, unprotected sex can lead to the birth of a child. But I have to assume you have been engaging in anal sex, since this girl’s ass hurts, and I am fairly certain you can’t have butt babies.
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