Disgusting Lyric of the Day 71: Nookie by Limp Bizkit

“Maybe she just made a mistake and I should give her a break. My heart'll ache either way… I won't lie that I can't deny I did it all for the nookie (come on) the nookie (come on). So you can take that cookie and stick it up your (yeah)” Limp Bizkit, Nookie

Has there ever been a band that just screams “shithead” as loudly as Limp Bizkit? The backwards baseball hats, the sad little cover of George Michael’s “Faith,” the weird rants about other artists and the claims about having sex with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. We all get it. You are in desperate need of attention.

“Nookie” is the true Rosetta Stone of understanding just how sad Limp Bizkit really is. After whining about his girlfriend taking his money and sleeping with his friends, Fred tells everyone how heartbroken he is and how he keeps taking this girl back and letting her hurt him again. Why would he do such a thing? Why, he does it so he can bang her. Ugh.

You did it all for the nookie? That’s like a five year old being sent to their room and yelling at their parents that they wanted to go to their room anyways. Or a guy who gets fired and yells, “You can’t fire me, I quit.” Really, Fred? You let all your friends bang your girl and you gave her all your money because the sex was that good? I’ve seen your (very) sad sex tape, so I am guessing the sex was probably not that great to start with.

But don’t worry. Fred’s girl can take her cookie and shove it up her ass. Whatever the hell that means. Maybe you can tell her to eat some boogers and that her hair smells and her dress looks like poo poo, too. Way to go, song writing champion!

Disgusting Lyric of the Day 23: American Bad Ass by Kid Rock

Who knew I'd blow up like Oklahoma? Said, “Fuck high school,” pissed on my diploma. Smell the aroma. Check my hits. I know it stinks in here, ‘cause I'm the shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” Kid Rock, American Bad Ass

The majority of American Bad Ass is just a list of artists that Kid Rock idolized, including The Rolling Stones, Johnny Cash, The Beastie Boys and Run DMC. Oh, and I almost forgot, he also professed his love for Limp Bizkit. Guess whose influence you can hear the most of in Kid Rock’s work? (Hint: It’s the really stupid one.)

Every portion of this song is idiotic. The reference to the Oklahoma Bombing was edited out on MTV and the radio. I’m not sure why. Nothing is more bad ass than an explosion that kills innocent people set by some lunatics with some vague point. Also Bad Ass? Not caring about an education! As dumb and caveman-like as all this crap is, it’s almost passable until Kid Rock says he’s the shit. Look, the phrase is stupid, we’ve all used it, everyone’s guilty. But Kid Rock is the first person to make it feel like literal shit. You can vividly feel every hot, greasy, yellow turd in this thing. And you know that Kid Rock has some nasty shits. The man is like a walking KFC commercial.

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