Disgusting Lyric R. Kelly Friday! : Sex In the Kitchen

Sex in the kitchen, over by the stove. Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls. Hands on the table, on your tippy toes. We’ll be making love like the restaurant was closed. – R. Kelly, In the Kitchen

R. Kelly starts with a kind of normal situation. He wants to have sex in the kitchen. Sure, it’s kind of unappetizing and God knows what the hell R. Kelly is going to do with buttered rolls. From what I have heard, he seriously has a problem with warm, golden liquids. And yeah, it’s potentially a health hazard, especially if you put your sensitive areas on a place where you were recently handling raw chicken. Still, as gross as an idea as a salmonella-filled vajayjay is, this is pretty mild territory for an R. Kelly song. Until he suddenly mentions, by the way, let’s do this like no one else is in the restaurant. So…R. Kelly is having sex in the kitchen of a packed restaurant? Forget nobody seeing you, R., I don’t want your love juices anywhere near my Riblets Basket. This is one reason why I never eat anywhere you can’t see exactly what is going on in the kitchen.

Disgusting Lyric of the Day 01: The Good Life by Kanye West

Have you ever popped champagne on a plane while getting’ some brain? Whipped it out, she said, ‘I never seen Snakes on a Plane.’” – Kanye West, The Good Life

Kanye West shows his mastery of time and place by setting the scene with intense detail. The listener is asked to imagine Mr. West on an airplane, opening and drinking a bottle of fine French champagne while a young lady is performing fellatio on him. Which, while probably wildly disturbing to the other passengers on the aircraft, fits the song’s theme of living the “good life.” And then, Mr. West places his penis in as a character in a late-period Samuel L. Jackson film. West presumes a fatal flaw here: While comparing your penis’s power to Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction would be acceptable, comparing your penis to a slimy animal that tries to kill Samuel L. Jackson with its teeth is just disgusting.