Ridiculous Lyric of the Day 78: Your Song by Elton John

“If I was a sculptor, but then again, no...You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue. Anyways the thing is, what I really mean, yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen.” Elton John, Your Song

If I was a civil engineer, but then again, no. Sculpting involves using a hammer and chisel to create a hard and permanent shape out of marble. Not the best career choice for a guy who can’t even wish he has a sculptor for 10 whole seconds.
The whole song is about a guy who doesn’t have any money so he writes this song for his lover. Unfortunately the song seems tossed off as shit. “I don’t know what color your eyes are but I know they are pretty,” is about as unsexy a line as possible. And yet, just the first few notes of this song are enough to get your mom’s panties damp. The early seventies were a weird time for music.

Disgusting Lyric of the Day 68: Whatever Gets You Thru the Night by John Lennon

“Whatever gets you through the night, it’s all right. It’s all right. It’s your money or your life. It’s all right, it’s all right. Don’t need a sword to cut through flowers,” John Lennon, Whatever Gets You Thru the Night

What in the hell was going down at John Lennon’s house in the middle of the night? My choices in the middle of the night are, “Do I watch Fresh Prince of Bel Air” on TV Land or “The Cosby Show” on Nick at Nite? John Lennon’s choices are his money or his life? What kind of choices are those? That’s not all right, John. That is actually pretty awful. And why is there a sword involved? You know who owns swords? People who are either way too into the Lord of the Rings or people who are way to into Martial Arts. What the hell is he doing cutting flowers in the night anyways? Here’s what will get you through the night: an Ambien.