Disgusting Lyric of the Day 69: Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) by Big & Rich

“Riding up and down Broadway on my old stud Leroy. And the girls say, ‘Save a horse, ride a cowboy.’” Big and Rich, Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)

Welcome to the death of country music. Back in the old days, Johnny Cash might make a novelty song about a boy named Sue. Big and Rich have come along to strip away any kind of wit. Save a Horse, ride a cowboy? What kind of bullshit is that? It’s like that 70’s era slogan, “Conserve water, shower with a friend.” Except people actually wanted to conserve water. Who the fuck cares about saving horses from being ridden on? It’s like going ten miles out of the way to make some lame joke about some girl riding on a cowboy’s junk, except when you finally get there, the joke is still as shitty as hell.
Why is it shitty?

Well, first, although everyone has heard the word “ride” used sexually, it is never used like riding a horse. A lot of people use the phrase “do someone” to mean sex too. But, there is nothing sexual about saying “I want to do a crossword puzzle.” Hell, I say “fuck that noise” at least three times a day. Doesn’t mean I want to stick my dick in a CD player. So, congratulations for bringing horses into sex.

And secondly, since Big and Rich are the only ones actually riding horses in the song, are the girls telling them to get off a horse and fuck some other dude? It’s pretty clear that Cowboy Troy has his eyes on one of those guys.

Rolling Stone Fridays!!!: Rough Justice

“One time you were my baby chicken, now you've grown into a fox. Once upon a time I was your little rooster, but am I just one of your cocks?” The Rolling Stones, Rough Justice

Mick Jagger was 62 when the song “Rough Justice” came out. I only say that because, Jesus, this song is creepy. Apparently, in this song, Mick was dating a younger girl who undergoes a metamorphosis from sweet young thing to devilish vixen. But you know what, that’s something like a 20 year-old-does. Not something a 36 year-old-does.

So, creepy 60 something Mick is chasing a (much) younger lady. Disgusting enough. But Mick asks her, “Am I just one of your cocks?” God, Jesus, fuck, I hope so. The idea of a 62 year old comparing their half-rigid droopy boner to a bunch of 25-year-old erections is just depressing. No one wants to be the oldest dude at the circle jerk, Mick. Just take your saggy balls and go home.