Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Disgusting Lyric of the Day 44: The Lemon Song by Led Zeppelin

“Squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg. Squeeze it so hard I fall right outta bed.” - Led Zeppelin, “Traveling Riverside Blues” and “The Lemon Song”

Did you notice that there? That this is actually in two songs by Led Zeppelin? To give credit where credit is due, Robert Plant is actually paraphrasing a line sung in the original “Traveling Riverside Blues” by Robert Johnson and evidently even Johnson may have borrowed it from another songwriter. So, just to recap, three men have been fond enough of the lemon penis to put it to music, Robert Plant perhaps the biggest lemon penis enthusiast, as he includes it in two recorded songs (naming one of them after it) and throws it into some other songs’ live versions as well.

And apart from being disgusting, comparing your penis to a lemon is just unflattering. Even within the world of fruit it’s a poor choice. I know if my penis in any way resembled a lemon, it would be the kind of thing I’d discuss in hushed tones with a doctor, maybe weighing some surgical options. I certainly wouldn’t immortalize it in song.

We chose to feature “Traveling Riverside Blues” because of Plant’s hilariously unnecessary addendum: "I wonder if you know what I'm talking about." Robert, if the woman who’s giving you rigorous, vertigo-inducing handjobs doesn't know what you're talking about, she's either a minor or belongs in a mental institution and we recommend that you break off the relationship right away. Stop thinking with your lemon.


  1. I LOLed IRL.

  2. Actually, I believe "lemon" isn't referring to the shaft, but the sack...

    Just saying...

  3. I got in trouble in eighth grade when I diagrammed (or whateverthefuck it was the teacher made me do, on paper) this song. She was not amused.