“Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia, up in my bedroom. I got up to wash my face. When I come back to bed, someone’s taken my place. Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart. You’re shaking my confidence daily.”
-Cecilia, Simon & Garfunkel
You got up to wash your face? You may want to go ahead and take a full shower there, champ. While Simon & Garfunkel made a habit out of taking bold subjects and attaching them to catchy songs, (the happy drug-induced bullshit of At the Zoo, the stark cynicism of Hazy Shade of Winter and I Am A Rock, don’t even talk to me about Feelin’ Groovy) they never really sounded cool doing it. Cecilia has the uncomfortable feel of two summer camp counselors singing in rounds for the young campers while giving each other hand jobs.
Yeah, it all sounds like fun and games, the kind of whacky thing that might occur in one of those American Pie movies, but at the heart of it you have this love-struck guy having sex with the object of his affection and in the time it takes him to do some post-coital grooming, some other dude has got his dick in her. And it was the 70’s, so you just know that shit was unprotected. Sure this kind of thing might be acceptable in say, a free-love commune, but we all know that anyone possessing anything approximating human emotions should avoid communes at all costs. And that’s obviously not the case here, as the narrator shows in the head-scratching bit of understatement about his shaken confidence. And it is that mixture of dejection and patheticism that makes this lyric not only disgusting, but sad and disgusting. Well done.